Tuesday, July 10, 2012

What Comes Next



What Comes Next

When housewives return
Christmas balls to the drawers,
when the old year's gone...
subtracting months from eternity,
when the New Year's rind falls
off, and entices happy wishes...
then,
and then,
there is something that spurns
the ignorant
(caught celebrating),
as yet unaware of the stings
that await,
when they bite
into the pulp...
of what comes
next.


This is a poem I wrote for The Sunday Whirl, a weekly wordle for July 8, 2012 using the following list of given words:  housewives, ignorant, rind, spurn, subtracting, fall, months, sting, drawers, eternity, balls and year.  The Sunday Whirl is a poetry prompt site which you can link to by clicking here.

14 comments:

brenda w said...

This is an excellent contribution, Carol. Thank you for joining us.
It's interesting that you wrote this in July. LoL The heat maybe? The last four lines are my favorite...an astute ending. Love it!

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Thank you Brenda W.

I appreciate your comment and the chance to particpate in your site's wordle whirl.

Jules said...

Glad I checked out the comments section after looking through all the links in Mr. Linky or I would have missed your verse.

I like the bit about the ignorant caught celebrating as yet unaware of the stings that await. But frankly I if I were to time travel I don't think I'd want to go back that far.

My fantasy take on the wordle is here: http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/07/sw-64-wordle-diamond-in-rough.html

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Thanks for your comment Jules. I enjoyed your post as well, great creative imagery.

Anonymous said...

I have to tell you that I have been enjoying your writing more and more. I really enjoy the poetry and have been reading it slowly and thinking about all the word choices. I think it's really good.

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Thank you. I'm happy that you enjoy it and especially that you took the time to tell me. I appreciate that very much.

Deborah Carr said...

This is lovely Carol...it has such a pleasing rhythm and metaphor. Honestly, by the end, my mouth already knew the taste of what comes next.

JaneTims said...

Hi Carol. I like ‘the rind falls off’ and the other orange imagery. It was good to see you yesterday... I found the exercise of using specific words to generate a poem very hard and I think you have done this very well in ‘What Comes Next’. I really liked the lesson yesterday on line breaks and the workshopping of our poems. I liked your 'Shadows' and the way it describes how hard it is to 'shake' a bad dream, and how writing helps us work through so many difficulties. I think that constructive criticism is fine and helpful, but in the end, you have to remember, it is your poem ('your' underlined). Jane

Crafty Green Poet said...

Christmas in July! Good use of the prompt!

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Thanks Deb. It was fun working within the limits of the word list. I'm glad the images worked.

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Thanks CGP. I enjoyed the challenge of the word list. Thanks for your comment.

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Thanks Jane. It was good to see you as well. I did enjoy the poetry workshop and the pointers and practice. It is always hard for me to allow criticism of my work but it is the only way to gain perspective and feedback. Ultimately, it is helpful and I learn, as well as expand my abilities.

Mary said...

Well penned wordle with lots to think about. The older I have gotten the more I realize best sometimes not to know what comes next, the 'stings' right around the corner.

Obviously I am looking back through some of your past poems! Enjoying my journey.

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Hi Mary,

Age does make one wary of the stings ahead, but also wise enough to remember that all stings eventually pass and are survived.

Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comment.