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Monday, April 30, 2012

How to Name Your Child

How to Name Your Child

Search through the name books.
Remember to avoid names of the kids you know and hate.
Avoid complicated spellings.
Don’t make up names; your child won’t be grateful.
Avoid names of great-greats who bloodied the family history.
Don’t name the child after old boyfriends or girlfriends.
Say the names out loud; say them softly.  Yell the names.
Try introducing.  “This is my son / daughter insert name here.
Say, “Insert name here, come here…right now.” 
Say, “And the award goes to insert name here. 
Say, “This is the RCMP.  We have insert name here.  Please come down to the station.”
Try nicknames.  Avoid nicknames.
Look at the initials.   Avoid combinations that will result in someone beating up your child on the playground.
Say, “I love you insert name here.
Make short lists of names.  Make the lists shorter.
What does the name mean?  Is that a good thing?
Put out suggestion boxes at family parties.
Don’t ask anyone what they think of the name.
Look at your child.
Who does he / she want to be?

This is a line poem I created at a Poetry Workshop given by Sue Goyette at the 2012 Frye Festival


Magpie said...

This made me smile. You thinking on the newest baby name?

Carol Steel said...

Yes and no. This was the title I was given to write about from a ramdom selection of titles. I had fun doing it.

Deborah Carr said...

Great work, Carol! Oddly enough, the intro to my Haitian workshop was 'write the story of your name'. We discovered that many had names that their parents just made up.

Carol Steel said...

Thanks Deborah. That's interesting that so many would make up names. I hadn't thought about that much before this. The 'write the story of your name' would be an intriguing exercise.

Crafty Green Poet said...

I like this. Oddly, even though I've never wanted children I have spent time thinking what i would call my daughter.

Carol Steel said...

It's fun to think of names. I have several I've made up for my own imaginary other selves. Names hold such power and emotion.