Letting Go

Letting Go

If you want to love a child

to raise her, you must listen and

be able to hear all that she says,

called truth.

If you want to help a child

to guide him, you must nurture and

know that he will have his own wisdom,

called life.

If you want to parent

to be a mom, you must be patient

with all that you learn from each other,

called love.

Child grows up, guidance not

needed, relationships change.

What’s left are the memories,

and love shining though

lighting the new pathways--

of letting go, letting go.

Writing / words are mine.  Poem form is patterned on:  “#17. Push boat with a flow of water” by Kim Goldberg, from her book called Ride Backwards on Dragon (Pig Squash Press, 2007).   Learn more about Kim Goldberg at http://liuhebafagirl.wordpress.com  

Leaves are Here

Metamorphosis

by May Sarton

Always it happens when we are not there —
The tree leaps up alive in the air,
Small open parasols of Chinese green
Wave on each twig. But who has ever seen
The latch sprung, the bud as it burst?
Spring always manages to get there first.

Lovers of wind, who will have been aware
Of a faint stirring in the empty air,
Look up one day through a dissolving screen
To find no star, but this multiplied green,
Shadow on shadow, singing sweet and clear.
Listen, lovers of wind, the leaves are here.

I've been waiting for weeks for the leaves to be here. 

May Sarton's poem about spring expresses this perfectly. 

Spring and the leaves have kept everyone waiting

for a very long stretch this year,

in this area of New Brunswick. 

Finally the leaves are here and the world is greening.

To learn more about May Sarton, click here.  These photos are mine.

Giving Advice

Giving Advice

How easily I fall into the slippery pit of offering unsolicited advice.  I think that my opinion will help, or that the other person doesn’t know what I am wise enough to already understand, or I am horrified at another’s choice and veil my emotions in the guise of advice.  No matter the reason, it is never helpful to foist unsolicited opinions on someone else.

I’m not perfect…

I’ve done it, continue to do it, but am working at catching and stopping myself from advising and offering opinions.  And, I’m actually making positive progress.

My older daughter has taught me a great lesson, more than a few times.  “Gee, I don’t remember asking for your opinion” she’ll say, while fixing me with her huge blue-eyed stare and a slight grin.  Stops me cold!

I’ve cut down on freely dispensing advice, unsolicited opinion-giving and unwanted fretful meddling with my mom, sisters, husband, friends, children and grandchildren.

I am not perfect…

It is freeing, this looking after no one’s activities…but my own, working on changing no one…but me!

Now, if someone wants help, or advice, or guidance or an opinion, I do lots of listening.  What do they really want or need? Usually it is the listening; people crave being heard more than anything else.  Most folks can usually sort out their own problems for themselves.

Even though you "don't remember asking for my opinion", I am sharing this one:

Avoid giving advice and opinions, especially unsolicited advice and opinions.

I'm working at this. 

I'm not perfect, so feel free to say, "Gee, I don't remember asking..."

Driving at Any Age

Driving at Any Age

My oldest grand-child just earned her driver’s license.  How exciting!

At the same time, my mother just sold her last car and has decided to stop driving anymore.  How poignant!

My grand-daughter is excited and full of readiness to face her future as she learns new skills and becomes a great driver.  My mother, who is still a competent driver herself, may naturally feel some sadness as she readies to face her future, being chauffeured from place to place.

Life is a cycle.

How wise of each of them to recognize that the time is right to make significant changes.

To my grand-daughter, I say:

 

Congratulations. Be safe, drive well, and improve your skills as you learn from experience. Enjoy this privilege and the freedom you’ve earned. 

To my mother, I say: 

Congratulations.  Be content, live well, enjoy not having to deal with the expenses of car ownership and revel in being picked up and dropped door-to-door, in any weather.

Sunset

Sunset

Once the fresh pale green leaves break open, it will be impossible to see the western horizon from our house. 

Right now, the trees are dark, bare and budding.    We live on a hillside and look to the west over rooftops, through a substantial network of exposed tree branches.

The spring sun has moved from its winter position in the skies.  It is now possible to enjoy sunsets--at least briefly, until the leaves cram in.

The setting sun is startling and splendid.  Disappearing with vivid colours into the dusk, it bursts out--just as it sinks below the horizon. 

Sundown outlines the stark branches against a kaleidoscope riot of color.

The soft ceilings of clouds reflect the last slanting rays of yellow-orange-pink-purple-gray.

Night falls, darkness fills, the evening cools.

These displays are nature’s vibrant short-lived gift, all the more special because this is the only time in the year when we can observe the sun setting, from our house.

Photos are mine.

Carol's Oatmeal Cookies

Carol’s Oatmeal Cookies

I’ll share with you one of my best cookie recipes and trust that you will enjoy it as much as it deserves!  The cookies are divine…

Medium bowl:

1 ¼ cups unbleached all-purpose flour

¾ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

Medium bowl:

1 ¼ cups old-fashioned rolled oats

1 cup pecans, toasted and chopped

1 cup dried cranberries

1 ¼ cups combination of bittersweet chocolate chips, butterscotch chips and white chocolate chips or chunks, chopped

½ cup golden raisins

Large bowl:

12 tablespoons (1 ½ sticks) of butter

1 ½ cups of dark brown sugar

Small bowl:

1 large egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Adjust oven racks to upper and lower-middle positions.  Heat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit in convection bake or to 350 degrees Fahrenheit in regular bake.  Line 2 large (12” x 18’’) baking sheets with parchment paper.  Recipe makes 36-40 cookies.

Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in medium bowl.

In another medium bowl, stir together oats, chips, dried cranberries, nuts and raisins.

Beat softened butter and brown sugar together until no sugar lumps remain.  Add egg and vanilla, beat until fluffy and incorporated.  All of this can be done easily in a stand mixer.  If, like me, you don’t have one, arm muscles and a heavy wooden spoon work just as well.

Add flour mixture and mix until just combined.

Gradually add nuts, fruits, oats and chips mixture until just incorporated.

Give dough a final stir with a rubber spatula to ensure that no flour pockets remain and ingredients are evenly distributed.

Using a #30 or #40 spring loaded ice-cream-type scoop, carve out dough and drop these (generous 1 tablespoon size) globs onto the cookie sheets.  Gently press the globs down to about 1 inch thickness.

If baking at 325 degrees convection bake, time is 11 to 12 minutes.  No need to rotate pans.  If baking at 350 degrees regular bake, time is approximately 14 to 15 minutes.  Pans must be rotated half way through baking time.  Note:  these times will depend on the vagaries of each oven.

Cookies are done when they are medium brown, the edges have begun to set but the centers are still soft.  The cookies will seem underdone and will look raw, wet and shiny in the cracks.  DO NOT OVERBAKE!  Cookies that are properly baked will bend, not snap and will cool to be moist, chewy and flavourful.

Apparently, these cookies will keep up to 5 days in an airtight cookie tin or a zipper-locked bag.  Frankly, I wouldn’t know as mine never make it beyond 48 hours.

Time well spent in the kitchen…

                           

Happy munching!

The beginnings of this recipe came from Cooks Illustrated Magazine, All-Time Best Recipes 2009.  http://www.cooksillustrated.com/

From that helpful start, many batches of cookies and some experimenting, my recipe has evolved into “Carol’s Oatmeal Cookies.”

Rainy Day Cookies

Rainy Day Cookies

It’s a soft grey day with misty rain outside; the fragrance of baking cookies inside.

The ceiling lights create pools of summer yellow in the kitchen.  Grains of sugar sparkle and stray flour speckles the leaf green kitchen counters.  The cookies are mixed except for the last ingredients:   deep red dried cranberries, dark chocolate chips, toasted and chopped pecans, shaved white chocolate, soft golden raisins and caramel butterscotch chips.

The cookie pans are ready, dressed in crinkly beige baking paper.  The oven beeps that it has reached the correct temperature for these decadent oatmeal cookies.

The kitchen floor is crunchy and gritty with ingredients I spilled.  In the time I wait for cookies to bake, I wipe the floury floor and wash the sticky yellow bowls and bright red measuring cups.

The welcome, delicate scent of baking cookies fills the house.

He is outside in the chilly drizzle, raking the matted rust-coloured leaves from the bed of bright daffodils.  He knows I love these flowers.  Some of them are trapped under the blanket of leaves that we placed over them last fall, to protect the tender bulbs from winter’s icy touch.  He is rescuing the sun-gold daffodils and getting himself, damp and chilled.

When he comes in, we’ll have steaming coffee and fresh, hot cookies by the fireplace.

We’ll sit, warmed and relaxed, comfortably reading on this soft grey day.