Thursday, May 5, 2011

Giving Advice


Giving Advice

How easily I fall into the slippery pit of offering unsolicited advice.  I think that my opinion will help, or that the other person doesn’t know what I am wise enough to already understand, or I am horrified at another’s choice and veil my emotions in the guise of advice.  No matter the reason, it is never helpful to foist unsolicited opinions on someone else.

I’m not perfect…

I’ve done it, continue to do it, but am working at catching and stopping myself from advising and offering opinions.  And, I’m actually making positive progress.

My older daughter has taught me a great lesson, more than a few times.  “Gee, I don’t remember asking for your opinion” she’ll say, while fixing me with her huge blue-eyed stare and a slight grin.  Stops me cold!

I’ve cut down on freely dispensing advice, unsolicited opinion-giving and unwanted fretful meddling with my mom, sisters, husband, friends, children and grandchildren.

I am not perfect…

It is freeing, this looking after no one’s activities…but my own, working on changing no one…but me!

Now, if someone wants help, or advice, or guidance or an opinion, I do lots of listening.  What do they really want or need? Usually it is the listening; people crave being heard more than anything else.  Most folks can usually sort out their own problems for themselves.

Even though you "don't remember asking for my opinion", I am sharing this one:

Avoid giving advice and opinions, especially unsolicited advice and opinions.

I'm working at this. 

I'm not perfect, so feel free to say, "Gee, I don't remember asking..."


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