It’s after midnight and I can’t sleep. My head is busy and won’t rest.
I am making lists in my brain of “To Do’s” so thought to rise, and put the list on paper to cease the jangle of racing ideas.
I want to start writing in a more purposeful and intense way. If I get up earlier in the mornings, I can spend several hours writing before my other tasks call me away. If I use that self-discipline, I will be more grounded.
If I don’t write enough each day, I feel agitated and slightly “off”, with a sort of un-wellness and frustration. If I don’t write enough, the words roll around inside my head creating uneasiness. If I don’t write enough, then when I do settle to write, the words come tumbling, dashing, jumbling out so quickly that I cannot contain all of them and some are lost. That feels bad too.
I enjoy blogging and photography and the short windows into my day that these provide. But blogging doesn’t allow enough scope; I need and want more. A challenge.
I need to find a way through to the more and a way to capture time away from distractions, to write for several hours in a row, each day. I’ll begin tomorrow or really, later today at the other end of this morning.
I also need to be clearer about what I want to say. It isn’t enough just to write, there must be something to say that’s worth saying.
I am tired now and starting to sense that I am talking about my own belly-button lint, the way folks ramble on about the mundane, on blogs…
Before I become really obnoxious, I’m off to bed.
Too late, you say?