Friday, July 8, 2011

Balance is What I Need


"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”


~Thomas Merton


I have been busy this week; busy enough to interfere with my writing.  That doesn’t feel good on many levels.


I need to write every day; balance amongst the ordinary tasks that one must do, the unusual surprises that arise and the daily discipline of writing.


This week, schedules were complicated. Gary returned to work on a six-month contract, so our routines have changed, and work-at-home-sharing has shifted.  We are both tired from the change, though adjusting rapidly.


Both my mother and I had doctor’s appointments and multiple tests and the resulting trips to the pharmacy this week; many hours of time!


Perhaps the week felt busier because the weather has been delightful; finally lovely melting summer has arrived.  I wasn’t able to enjoy the peacefulness of the yard as much as the weather coaxed me to do, so felt resentful about all that took me away from that pleasure.


As the week progressed, I have become more and more weary until finally today I was in tears over nothing—an unusual situation for me and further evidence of exhaustion and not enough “me” time.


Why do I have to keep re-learning this lesson?  The answer, I suppose, is that I keep ignoring that if I don’t look after my own needs, they will impinge upon the rest of my life.


I’ll do better at this.  It is a growing edge in my life, one that calls for attention and creativity.


It’s time for a “Carol Day” where nothing from the outside is allowed in and total focus can be given to what I need.  From that meditative beginning, I can find ways to achieve balance on a daily basis.


Balance is what I need.  Balance is really what we all need!


photo is mine

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