What the Well Dressed Woman Wears to Surgery

What Does the Well Dressed Woman Wear to Surgery?

The instructions from the hospital are vague.  “Wear something loose and comfortable.”  Does this mean my pyjamas?  I wish it did. 

“Wear a bra without under-wires, one tight enough to provide support and to reduce post-surgical bruising and swelling; yet one which is loose and comfortable.”  Pardon?  Aren’t those instructions mutually exclusive? 

“Wear no nail polish, no deodorant, and no make-up.”  No problem.  This will make getting ready and travelling to the hospital by 7:30 am, really easy. 

Because I have to sit around in a “hospital gown” for 2 hours between the first part of my surgery and the second stage, shouldn’t they also tell me to wear warm socks and to bring a sweater?  The hospital staff rushes around working; therefore they stay warm.  But I’m not warm; sitting on a hospital gurney, waiting and waiting isn’t cosy.  It is chilly.  It is very chilly. 

And how is a “hospital gown” in any way a gown?  They’re made from thin fabric, in a housecoat style.  They tie in the front or the back, or they snap open at the shoulders providing inadequate coverage at best.  This gown leaves arms, chest and legs hanging out in the cool air.  Shouldn’t the term “gown” be used for real gowns; fancy gowns worn by stars at award shows? But then, those gowns on award shows leave lots of flesh hanging out too.  So maybe using that definition, it truly is a gown, this hospital gown.  Hmm?  I wonder.  Maybe, except it is missing the fancy part.

Despite the lack of guidance about what the well dressed woman wears to surgery, I have come up with a plan.   To travel to the hospital, I will shower, be make-up-less and polish-less, yet I will be well dressed. 

I have chosen a comfy plaid flannel shirt in a blue that matches my eyes.  Plaid flannel shirts are in back in style.   Amazing!  Who knew?  When I grew up, these were Albert County chic, but that was decades ago.   What goes around comes around…and around.   

I am wearing black pants, of cotton and some unknown stretchy fabric, with an elastic waist.  They are mystery pants.  They could be leggings or yoga pants, or exercise pants or pyjama pants. Yes, they are similar to pyjama pants.  This is great.  And the bra, well it reminds me of the unattractive, thick cotton undershirts I wore as child.  Serviceable, yet ugly.  Enough said?  I am taking a sweater and warm socks for comfort.  To complete the look, I’ll wear my Birkenstocks.   A fetching ensemble; yes, I think so.

I won’t receive rave reviews on any fashion runway, but I will be comfortable.  And when facing surgery, comfort is what it’s all about. 

Now, what was it the hospital said in their vague instructions?

Oh yes, “loose and comfortable.”

I believe I’ve done it…loose and comfortable, and well dressed, too.

Words and photo are © copyright Carol Steel.